So. You know how on television there are always people misplacing their keys and their phones in really weird places? There they are, running around in a panic, looking everywhere, and then like 5 hours later they open their freezer and the keys/phone/misplaced whatever are magically there! “Oh geez, I am so forgetful!”, they say.
Then there is you, sitting on your couch watching these people in utter disbelief. The whole time you are like “HEY DUMBASS YOU LEFT YOUR PHONE IN THE FREEZER. I SAW IT HAPPEN 4 HOURS AGO. OH GOOD YOU FOUND IT BUT IT PROBABLY DOESN’T EVEN WORK NOW BECAUSE IT’S FROZEN.” I am always so cavalier about these people; I can never believe that someone is that stupid. “What an idiot. Who are these people that leave things in the freezer? No one leaves things in places like that.” I have a lot to say.
JUDGE NO MORE, JESS.
A part of my errand-running duties at the law firm is to go get the mail at the PO box at the Post Office; I have to do this every day before I come into work. As you might imagine, this task does not take a brain trust. I have never run into any hang-ups before. To clarify, I did not foresee ever running into any hang-ups.
So on Tuesday, there I was, all “la la la I am so above this task with my adult human brain.” NOPE. Later that day, I turned into that obnoxious person from TV. “WHERE IS MY CELL PHONE? THIS IS NOT A DRILL, YOU GUYS. I NEED IT. WHERE IS IT???”
I bet you can see where this is going. I left my cell phone INSIDE the PO box for several hours. Thankfully, it was not frozen, and it still functioned normally; however, I became one of those dumbasses I ridicule so heartily.
In other news, I was “studying” this morning via watching the Chicken Fried music video that I posted on here, and that video started raising some red flags. I am watching it, and everything is fine. I understand the concept: we love chicken fried and Georgia pine and jeans just right, blah blah blah. Then we hit the bridge, and all the sudden we are talking about freedom and America and our country or some shit. AND THEN Zac Brown & Co make quite a leap that I am just not sure I understand.
Here we are, talking about freedom and defending our nation and protecting the things we love, and then ZB makes the jump that the thing that we are protecting that we love is the chicken fried. No offense, ZB, but I am not dragging my lazy self over to the Middle East to defend my chicken fried. That seems like a lot of effort. Don’t get me wrong, I love fried chicken. Obviously, I understand a dedication to food. I’m not even sure if I would defend bacon.
He could be saying that we should defend what chicken fried represents? Like the freedom to fry our chicken and give ourselves clogged arteries and a complex about our weight? But that just feels too thought-out for a country song. I just can’t believe that we got that symbolic. Maybe I have given this too much thought?
Also, I am starting to think that weather.com doesn’t know what it’s talking about. It is telling me that it is raining right now, and I can tell you for sure that it is not. It is sunny, there are hardly any clouds, and it is about 75 degrees. That is not the same as rain. And fine if they make a mistake, but to leave it up there is a little much.
"NO, it is RAINING. It HAS to be." (<——delusional guy at weather.com)
We need to get Donald up in here to fire this guy. And then we need to bring someone in to fire Donald because his ego is getting OUT OF CONTROL.
Not the part where you have to pay them… just the returns part. What a pain. BRAINSTORM: Our taxes should pay for accountants to do our income tax returns. BAM.
Yep, so now that I have solved that problem, onto bigger and better things. WORLD HUNGER!
J-play, you guys; I am tired after all that with the taxes.
In other news, I am sitting here at work while I type this. My boss just came downstairs and looked to see what I was doing on here. It was pretty awkward. Also, I am WHOA tired because I saw Hamlet last night, and it lasted until about 2 hours past my bedtime.
This is kind of true for always, but, especially now, I am a walking bundle of panic all the time. Don’t worry, it’s not like I am waiting for the apocalypse or something weird (unless you believe in the apocalypse in which case I support you). I am just freaking OUT about grades pretty much constantly. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am this way all the time, but I feel like it is worse now that it is nearing the end of the semester. This whole month of April is just horrifying.
Presentations, Wedding Scooters, and Entanglements
I am SO IMPRESSED with myself that I have kept up with this 30 day song mess for 4 whole days already. Considering the fact that I forgot I had a tumblr for several months, my hopes weren’t exactly high that I would remember to do something on here every day. It’s a little early for a celebration, but I am definitely in “pat-on-the-back” territory.
I just realized that, by the time I finish with this 30 songs deal, I will be probably within a week of being done with school. I don’t feel like busting out a calendar to figure it out, but I am excited about the prospect of not having to worry about assignments for a while. I have a MONSTER list of books to read and TV/movies to watch. Also I need to study for the LSAT. Also I am turning 21. So. MAY COME FASTER.
I have 1 presentation today, and another tomorrow, and I think that SUCKS. Thumbs down, for sure. Even though I monopolize class discussion constantly in a normal setting, I always FREAK OUT about having to present in front of the class. I don’t know if it is the whole “ZOMGI’mdoingthisforagrade” aspect, or maybe it is just that I hate being forced to stand up and talk to a bunch of people who are not going to care. If the only person who cares about a presentation is going to be the professor, then why don’t we just present to them separately/without the rest of the class. Those yawning faces HAUNT me.
My sister’s wedding is coming up in a little less than 3 weeks. Is it sad that I am spending a huge amount of time worrying about tripping on the way down the aisle? This isn’t even my event (obviously), but I am terrified that I will eat it when I am trying to glide gracefully. After all, walking without falling isn’t exactly my strong suit. I tend to intermix regular steps with tripping steps at about a 50/50 ratio.
I am also REALLY worried that I will forget to pay attention during the service. The last time I was in a wedding was for my other sister’s wedding, and that was an issue. True, that wedding was almost 11 years ago, and I was 10, but I would not put it past myself to zone out for the entire thing. We don’t need another professionally filmed video of me looking at anything/everything but the bride and groom.
Weddings are really just not the place for me to shine. I don’t really support big hair or caked on make-up, and I can’t really handle flowers very well. Like I have mentioned, my attention span is less than stellar and I also can’t really walk at all. I wonder if my sister will consider letting me wheel down the aisle, blindfolded? I could use a razr scooter, and I would be the coolest kid in the neighborhood. Additionally, I would probably be less likely to fall. There are no downsides.
So, I just took some time to plug in my charger. You know, because my computer was doing the low-battery dance. Anyway, I almost died just now. My charger was entangled in the most high-stakes way-I cannot even express it to you. It got wrapped around my foot and my neck? I was like that Mickey Mouse Christmas ornament, except with a mac charger instead of twinkle lights. Also I am a person and not a mouse; my brain capacity is supposed to excuse me from those kinds of antics. I am not dazzled by my intellect in this moment.
I found this on Facebook, but I decided I would post it on here instead. Just post one song a day. Here are the rules:
day 01 - your favorite song day 02 - your least favorite song day 03 - a song that makes you happy day 04 - a song that makes you sad day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event day 08 - a song that you know all the words to day 09 - a song that you can dance to day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep day 11 - a song from your favorite band day 12 - a song from a band you hate day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love day 15 - a song that describes you day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio day 19 - a song from your favorite album day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral day 25 - a song that makes you laugh day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument day 27 - a song that you wish you could play day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty day 29 - a song from your childhood day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year
CAN I JUST SAY THAT I AM HAVING A REALLY HARD TIME DOING ANY WORK LATELY?
By lately, I mean ever since spring break. It will probably last until the end of the semester, which is a bummer since that is FIVE WEEKS from now. I feel like none of the things I really have to do are that difficult, but I just can’t seem to make myself sit down and do them.
For instance, right now I am working on an easy peasy paper, and I have the whole thing outlined. I am about 75% done, so naturally I am just pacing around my room in lieu of actually writing it. Well, I’m not pacing right now because then it would be hard to type. You get it. If I could just get my act together, I would probably be done with it in about 20 minutes, and then I could do all the pacing I want. Instead, I am doing everything I can to put it off, and, in the process, I am making myself MISERABLE because I can’t just completely abandon it.
I am also sick-y right now (I think I complained loudly about that on here earlier today; you remember suda), and that is not helping matters. I am not going to work tomorrow morning, but since I feel ill, it’s not like I am really gaining any time.
I have so many things to complain about!
Actually, I had a pretty lovely day. I drank too much coffee and procrastinated this paper, but otherwise everything went quite well.
I need to stop typing on here and start typing in my OpenOffice document, I guess.
I feel like it is an ABSOLUTE OUTRAGE that cupcakes do not cure colds. Taking cold medicine is almost as horrific an experience as the actual cold itself. It’s the 21st century and this is really the best we have? Pathetic.
I would also be open to bacon curing colds (duh), or even like, a burger or a grilled cheese or some quiche or something. I’m just saying that it should be food related. Chewy sprees kind of look like big pills; why can’t we just throw some tasteless suda in there and call it a day? Suda is my new slang word for sudafed, just in case you didn’t gather that.
Another complaint: why is there that 6 a day limit for sudafed? I do not feel stimulated at all, much less overstimulated. Also, I thought we got the meth-making suda off the streets, so where is the harm in having your head be doubly clear? I am not looking for a suda overdose, obviously, but I am not satisfied with my current level of decongestion. If there was a comment card I would give it a star and a half out of five. Work on it, suda.